


Where We Were Before

by littlebark



Series: The Path Less Traveled On [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 'hey let me tell you about the times your mom hated me but it all worked out!', F/M, Family Bonding, Father-Daughter Relationship, is the most depressing way ever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2016-05-27
Packaged: 2018-07-10 11:52:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6983968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlebark/pseuds/littlebark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karina Black has always searched for her past, for her real parents. Things are not always as it seems, and every time she learns about her mother, the pedestal gets knocked lower and lower. And yet, at the end of the day she has nothing but respect for the woman she barely knows. </p><p>Tid-tibs of a lifetime ago, told by Sirius Black, about the woman he is still in love with.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where We Were Before

There was a stillness to #12 Grimmauld Place. Everyone was busy doing their own thing, leaving Sirius Black to wander the house aimlessly. Bitter fights and disappointed memories followed him wherever he went.

“Sirius?”

He stopped mid-step as he walked past the outside porch, turning around and frowning at Karina Black. “What are you doing out here?”

“I should ask you the same question,” she blinked up at him, shivering slightly.

Without even thinking about it, he took off his jacket and covered Kari with it. He sat down next to his fifteen year old daughter, following her eye line. The sunset colors danced on her pale tanned skin, making her look magical. “You look like your mother,” he muttered softly.

Kari blushed, feeling somewhat embarrassed at the love in her father’s voice. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“I’m trying to escape boredom,” he smiled at her, nudging her shoulder. “And you?”

“I just needed thinking space.”

He let out a chuckle, “that’s what that loud humming sound was…”

“Har har,” Kari tried to hide a grin from her father. “That’s clever, Sirius.”

A twinge of sadness flashed through him. Before he could help it, he heard himself say, “Am I ever going to get a ‘Dad’ from you?”

Kari turned to stare at him, sighing a sigh heavier than any teenager should. “I’m still getting used to the idea that my biological father isn’t some mass murderer. I need some more time to get used to the fact that I have a father who I can be with now.”

“Do you ever regret it? Me finding you?”

“As much fun as it was hating your guts, no I don’t regret it." She said dryly, but a smile played on her face. “Believe it or not, I have grown rather fond to you.”

“That’s an ‘I love you’ in teenager speak, right?” 

She let out a laugh, “That’s an ‘I tolerate you and the fact that you’re an escapee of Azkaban, you criminal’. How about you? Do you have any regrets about coming to find me?”

“Well besides the fact that you can be obnoxious and a real brat, no. I don’t have any regrets,” he grinned as she glared up at him, “See,  **_I_ ** can be an adult, so I’ll say it: I love you, Karina. I just wish…”

When he trailed off, she frowned up at him, “Sirius?”

He felt her eyes on him, making him uncomfortable. “I just wish Tori could be here too. She’d be much better at this than me.”

“ _ At this _ being raising me.”

“Not just that,” he muttered quickly, “she’d just make everything better. When she was around, everything was care free…”

“I…” Kari frowned, “you know, I’ve never really heard anything about her. Just that she died for me. And that’s a major guilt trip if I’ve ever heard one, by the way.”

Sirius laughed, “she died out of love. I couldn’t see it at the time, but she died because she loved you too much…”

“Tell me about her,” Kari whispered desperately, snuggling up to her father, “I don’t remember her at all, Sirius. It kills me that I have no memories of her.”

Sirius looked down at Kari and the sudden emptiness in her eyes.  _ How can it be _ , he thought dully,  _ that I have all these memories of Tori and Kari can’t even remember her mother’s scent? How is it fair that she never got to feel the love her mother felt for her? Can she see that Tori protected her to the last minute? _

FIRST YEAR

“Blood doesn’t make you royal, Tabor!” 

Sirius raised his eyebrow at James Potter as they rounded the corner and came to a full stop as a girl with a bush of black hair had a boy pinned against the wall. She was scowling at him, her mouth turned up in a snarl.

It hit Sirius like a battering ram. His young heart flipped and he felt the inside of his stomach explode with emotions.

“Funny of you to say that,” the male version of the girl snapped, glaring down at her, “we have a chance to fit in here, Tor. To not get bullied and to be powerful!”

“I can handle being bullied and I don’t want to be powerful. We're children, Tabor." She let go of her twin with disgust and turned around. Anger flashed in her brilliantly blue eyes as she spotted Sirius and James. “Were you listening to us?”

“It’s not exactly a private hallway,” James snarled at her, hazel eyes narrowing.

Sirius looked at her, clearing his throat. “Sorry –“

“Save it,” she spat, brushing past them and sending the boy one last glare.

Sirius and James turned to face him. “Are you okay?” James asked, taking a step forward.

“Get away from me, blood-traitor!” The boy hissed angrily, and as he began to walk away. “I don’t need help from the likes of you.”

Sirius’ eyebrows flew into his hair, “what an angry little being. Who are they, I wonder.”

“That’s Tori and Tabor Lowry. Pureblood twins in the house of Slytherin.”

“Slytherin!” Sirius frowned with a bit of annoyance. “She didn’t sound like she was too thrilled about the blood mania.”

“From what I hear, the Lowrys never were big into the blood-mania,” James shrugged easily. “Tori seems to have her head screwed on straight, if you ask me.”

“Pure-bloods, you said?” Scowling, Sirius scuffed the ground. Growing up, he had vowed to never date a pure-blood let alone marry one. He didn’t want to give his mother the satisfaction of thinking she had raised him ‘right’. Half bloods and muggles were usually better than most pure-bloods anyways. “I don’t remember my parents mentioning them.”

James rolled his eyes, “what does it matter, anyways!  Forget about it, we’re gonna hear this ‘blood is awesome’ broo-ha-ha for the next seven years. Let’s go see if we can scare the crap out of Peter, yeah?”

Sirius grinned, “You’re on.”

He would never forget the smell of strawberries and sunshine that seemed to crawl under his skin and settle just below his heart.

SECOND YEAR

“How is it,” Sirius wondered out loud, “that Tori and Lily teamed up to make the team of hell?”

“Don’t say that!” James said quickly, looking around to make sure they hadn’t heard. 

“I find it amusing that the lion and the lamb became friends,” James’ cousin said as she winked at Sirius, “and to make it worse, they’re each your hearts fancy and they despise you. Fancy that.”

Remus chuckled, “Maggie Potter, you’re the devil, you know that?”

“I’ve heard it before. Being related to James give you bad rep, apparently,” Maggie grinned at the boys.

Sirius sat up suddenly, looking at the Hall entrance. Tori was walking in with Lily, laughing about something. He watched as she made her way through the crowd, still smiling. Until she caught him staring at her. The blue eyes he had fallen in love with narrowed until he was fairly sure that the venom in them would kill him.

“Blimey, Sirius,” Maggie said in hushed tones, “what, did you pee in her cereal?”

“Jesus NO, Magaret!” He snapped, blushing horribly. “I don’t know what I’ve done to hate me so.”

“Oh it would have nothing to do with the fact that you can be a total berk and think you’re all that and that you bully Snivellus, right?”

“For the record, James does all that too,” he pointed out, slouching in his spot.

James grinned sheepishly at Maggie as she rolled her eyes, “aye, and he’s paying for it too.”

“I’m not a berk,” like a child, his lower lip came out into a pout, “besides, it’s who I am! Most everyone likes who I am!”

“Only because you have good looks,” Maggie muttered under her breath.

Peter leaned closer, interest written on his face, “You think he looks good, Maggie?”

“He’s Sirius Freakin’ Black. Every girl in second year has the hots for him.”

“Every girl except the one that matters,” he sighed glumly.

THIRD YEAR

“Tori!”

Her shoulders went slightly rigid before she turned to face him, her expression cold. “Black.”

He stopped in front of her nervously, cursing whatever higher force had given him the super power to charm every girl he ran into expect the one he wanted most. “Hi.”

She rolled her eyes, starting to turn away and letting out a hiss when he put his hand on her shoulder to stop her. Sirius’ eyes widened then dropped his hand, looking into her stormy eyes, “you going to Hogsmeade this Saturday?”

“I reckon I might,” she said casually, taking a step back. “Lily and I wanted to go to the bookstore there.”

“Books?” he snorted, “There’s a bunch of those here.”

As if it was a custom around him, she narrowed her eyes, “Yes, there are. I want to look at the ones there.”

“Hey Tori.”

Sirius’ teeth grinded together as Severus Snape came to stop short of her. She turned to face him and beamed, “Hi Sev.”

“You coming to class?” 

“Yep, going to meet up with Lily. Let’s go,” she began to walk away then sighed, and turned. “Was that all, Black?”

He stared at Snape, feeling hate bubbling in him, “I believe it is. I’ll see you around, Tori… you too, Snivellus.”

Tori sighed angrily, “and you wonder why people don’t like you, Black.”

“He doesn’t care about people, Tori,” Snape smirked, “just you.”

“Tough luck,” she turned away, already forgetting what they had talked about.

FOURTH YEAR

The day was calm and still. Sirius found himself sprawled by the window sill, a brunette girl laying on his chest. She was trailing her finger on his chest, making small heart figures. 

Remus and Maggie were locked in a vicious chess mass, both of them enjoying themselves while Peter watched with excitement. James was sleeping on the couch behind them, snoring slightly.

“I’m telling you, Tori. It was like I didn’t matter. Those people are a bad influence on him. He’s getting to into the Dark Arts.”

“Oh, Lily. This is Severus’ we’re talking about. It’s not like he’s going to join the Death Eaters.”

Sirius’ stayed where he was, closing his eyes and pretending to sleep as Lily came into the Gryffindor common room followed by Tori.

“She’s not allowed to be in here! She’s in Slytherin!” Peter snapped at Lily, glaring at the young intruder.

“Save it for when they’re awake, Pettigrew,” Tori said coolly, as she settled comfortable into a chair, “Hello Remus. Maggie.”

Remus flashed Tori a smile, “hello. Want a turn?”

“No, she doesn’t. You’re only trying to get out of this because you know I’m about to tromp your ass,” Maggie winked at Tori, who chuckled.

Lily smiled softly, “I don’t see a way of you winning, Remus.”

“Ah, bugger. I give,” Remus leaned away from the table, dragging a hand over his face, “and to think that I was so close.”

“Now what’s this about Snape?” Maggie asked as she took a seat beside Remus. 

Tori noticed the blush on Remus’ pale face, and made a mental note to talk to Lily about it later. “Oh, nothing,” she said, pulling a notebook out of her bag, “he’s just acting like –you know- a Slytherin.”

“Bright and cheery just like you then,” Remus let out a laugh when she scowled at him.

“Tori is the one exception to the rule,” Lily grinned at her best friend.

Playing the part, Tori rolled her eyes and drawled, “I’m pretty sure it’s because you sank your greedy talons into me before I started acting like I’m a vampire or something.”

“Or you’re one of a kind.”

Tori looked up at Sirius slowly, her smile turning into a smirk, “There’s that too.”

“So what about Snape-“

Remus shook his head, “Mags, why don’t you girls go gossip elsewhere?”

“Gossip, you cheeky little-“

Lily laughed at the indignation written on Maggie’s face, “Come on, now Mags. It’s such a lovely day for a walk.”

“Fine. Let’s go then.”

“See ya, Lowry.” Sirius called after her as she walked out of the Common Room.

“Black,” came the curt reply from the corridor.

He sighed, shifting so he could get the girl on him off. “What was that about, Moony?” 

“What was what about?” He asked innocently, gathering up the chess pieces.

“You shooing them out of the Common Room.”

Remus let out a long breath, before looking up at one of his best friends. “You don’t need any more ammunition against Snape, Sirius. What ever it is that they’re worried about, they have the right to discussing without you or James using that against him later.” James interrupted the conversation with a loud snore, and Remus prayed for patience, “You’re dating Molly –“

“Holly,” the girl said from behind Sirius.

“Really?” Sirius turned around, “I thought for sure it was Molly.”

The girl let out a shriek of indignation and Remus used that diversion to melt into the darkness and leave.

FIFTH YEAR

“Is it true.”

The venom and hate in her voice had Severus dreading looking up at her. “Tori-“

“Just answer the question, Snape.”

_ Snape _ . No longer Severus or Sev but his last name. “I didn’t mean to,” he breathed as he sunk his head into his hands, “It slipped out of my tongue.”

“It slipped out of your tongue.”

She said the words as if they were a flimsy excuse. “You don’t understand! They had me upside down. Your precious Sirius was hexing me – I couldn’t even defend myself!”

“And so when the one person who tries to help you steps forward, you call them a  _ Mudblood _ .” Tori hissed with disdain. Snape finally looked up and saw that she was shaking, her knuckles white. “What if I had been the one defending you, Snape? What would you have called me?” 

At a loss for words, Severus shrugged hopelessly. “I can only say I’m sorry.”

“That doesn’t change anything. If Potter or Black said sorry every time they hexed you, would you forgive them?”

“That’s different!”

“Bullocks,” Tori growled, her eyes flashing with anger. “I’m sorry for what the Maurauders did to you. James and Sirius are ignorant assholes for the way they act. Peter is a wanna-be, clapping for every fart and snore that his ringleaders do. And Remus is a coward for being there and not stopping them.”

“Exactly!”

“But you are an idiot for having two friends who loved you and loosing them over something as simple as blood.”

“Tori-“

“This isn’t just today, Snape,” Tori began to back away, still glaring. “Ever since you started to hang out with Lestrange, Malfoy, Wilkes, Rosier, my brother and the Blacks, you have acted differently. You like it, don’t you Snape? You like that you fit in with them and that they accept you for your skill and the fact that you are ready to serve He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named as soon as you leave this place.”

“Tori, please –“

Tori’s step faltered as he said her name. She took a deep breath and forced herself to look at him in the eyes, “let me ask you, Snape? Where were these so called friends when the Maurauders were hexing you? Why weren’t they there to stop them?”

He had no answer for her. He swallowed a ball of emotion and looked at her feebly. “Please… why don’t you hang out with us? You and me, we can be  _ great _ .”

“Because I vowed long ago to be great but not by joining the Dark Arts. Believe it or not, Snape, that’s not where the world is headed. You could be so much  _ more _ if you kept us as friends. Real friends who come to your aid when people pick on you. Because I loved you for what’s in here,” she pressed her hand to her heart and frowned at the tears that fell, “the boy who could make me laugh and forget the pain of this crap world.”

Severus stood up, ready to bolt after her. He was sure he would have but the look on her face had frozen him to the spot. 

_ You’re a coward, Snivellus _ , he thought bitterly and sank back into the chair.

SIXTH YEAR

“Tori-“

“No.”

Sirius stopped in his tracks, blinking. “Blimey, you cold-hearted witch. I just wanted to give you this bloody text book. You left it in our last class.”

“Cold hearted witch, am I?” she granted him a smile. “well, thank you very much, Black. I sure appreciate it. My very  _ life _ depended on this book.”

“Oh, bloody hell,” he groaned as a mischievous twinkle sparkled in her eyes. “Cut it out.”

Enjoying herself, Tori tucked her tongue in her cheek, “but it’s true, Black! This book cost me a whole Galleon. A  _ Galleon _ , for Merlin’s sake! It’s nearly high way robbery, isn’t it?”

“Uh huh,” he mumbled, turning on his heel, “you go ahead and make the fool of me, Lowry.”

“The fool?” Tori mocked a gasp. “Not you, Black. Never you! Why, you’ve just saved me having to re-buy the book, weren’t you listening. How will I ever repay you!?”

“I have a couple ideas,” he snapped then sighed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. You don’t have to repay me, Tori. Just consider it the nice, friendly, neighborly thing to do.”

“Why, you’re the modern day Spiderman, aren’t you?” winking, she stowed the book in her bag. 

“Basically, though I got yipped of the song.”

Delighted that he had understood the joke, she began to sing, “Siii-rius! Siii-rius! Does whatever a Sirius does!”

“That… that doesn’t even make sense,” he grinned at her.

“I suppose not,” she let out a contented sigh, “but in any case, thanks for the book. It would have been a hassle having to get my Mum to go get me a new one. And this one has a bunch of notes I’ve made for myself. It’s hard replacing a book after you’ve read it a billion times.”

“Erm… I suppose. All my books are in mint condition, if you’re ever looking to replace one.”

“What? Don’t you mark and highlight your books as you read them?”

Sirius met her gaze, raising an eyebrow at her amused expression, “I learn by osmosis.”

“If I ever have kids, I want them to have that super power,” Tori stated firmly. 

Unable to resist, Sirius smiled, “If you ever need the other half to make it happen, you know where to find me.”

Tori walked in silence with him, until it felt like she would burst. “Why me, Black? There are a million girls you’ve charmed and a whole lot more who would date you. Like Maggie said: You’re Sirius Freakin’ Black. The whole female population would die for a kiss.”

“And some of us would kill for something more.”

Tori raised her eyebrows at him as the gold-haired goddess materialized out of nowhere and looked up at Sirius seductively, “Hello, Sirius.”

Sirius frowned down at her, “Hi.” 

“So how ‘bout it?”

“How about what?” He snapped as he walked away.

Helen Martin sighed in annoyance. “A romp between you and me.”

“I’m sorry, but I believe you just butted into a conversation where I was about to tell Tori that I love her because she’s not one to sleep around and is quite possibly the only one besides Lily who tells me when I’ m out of line. She’s also the only who has hexed me and I don’t feel like ripping them a new one –“

“Thank goodness for that, mate.”

“Also, she doesn’t swoon, sigh or blush when I turn in her direction. All that gets very tiring very quickly because it makes you feel like you’re a God or something. Last time I checked his job was pretty cool but had a ton of responsibilities. Not my thing, sugar. So I say ‘no’ to that romp and ‘get the hell away’ to you being all up in my space.”

Tori bit back a laugh as Sirius turned away from both of them with a muttered, ‘bloody women’. 

And felt a little crack in the shell she kept around her heart.

SEVENTH YEAR

_ You’ve chased her into the arms of Snivellus. And found refuge in the embrace of Martin. What the hell is the matter with you, Sirius? You’ve turned her into a monster. _

“So let me get this straight. She saw you. She bounded over to you. She insulted you. And then she crucio-ed you.”

“That’s the jist of it,” Sirius muttered as Lily frowned down at him, pressing a cloth to the cuts on his face, “OUCH! Damn it all, Evans, it  _ hurts _ .” 

“There isn’t even any anti-septic on this!” Lily said, pushing the hair away from his face.

“That’s it,” Maggie snarled viciously as she stood up, “She’s answering to me now.”

“You’re not that scary, Mags.” Remus murmured, kissing her hand as he tried to get her to sit down, “don’t make this any worse than it is.”

“She had no  _ right _ to Crucio him, Moony! Hex him, sure-“

Sirius glared up at Maggie, “Hey!”

“It’s true. You’re a pig for giving her the ‘sex or it’s over’ ultimatum,” snapped Maggie as she rounded on him, “that was the stupidest thing you could have done. Here was the girl you’ve wanted since you were eleven and then your hormones get the better of you!”

Sirius scowled as he looked into the fire, “I still love her.”

“Excuse me?” Helen’s eyes narrowed but they didn’t bring the fear and love that Sirius felt when Tori narrowed hers. 

“Love isn’t something you can erase,” Remus said softly. 

“I’m giving him everything I can!”

Lily sighed as she wrapped tape around his wrist, “you haven’t been his heart's fancy for the last seven years.”

“Tori has made her decision,” James spoke for the first time since they had brought Sirius up. “And now we –as the Maurauders – must make ours. Lily, you and Tori all but exiled Snape when he called you a  _ you know what _ .”

“James-“ Sirius began, already seeing where this was going.

Lily frowned at him, “yes, we did. We both felt it was uncalled for when I was only trying to help.”

He nodded, his hazel eyes scanning the group, “I do agree that Sirius made some poor choices regarding Tori. However, asking a girl to sleep with you when she’s not ready does not warrant the Crucio curse.”

“I agree,” Peter said slowly, frowning slightly at James.

Staring right at Sirius, James stood and said, “I believe that we as the Maurauders should make a pact. That includes you, Lily and Maggie, being honorary members as it is. A pact that states that Victoria Lowry is a not to be trusted.”

“Is that truly necessary? She's been there when we've needed her most.” Remus muttered softly.

“A pact that states that no matter what happens, Tori is never to come back to us. The Crucio curse is unforgiveable, Sirius-“

“James, no! This is my fault,” he snarled, attempting to sit up and hissing in pain when Lily sunk her nails into him to force him to stay down. “Bloody hell, Evans! Prongs, listen to me. She’s just a bit loopy right now. I just broke her heart. I can make her come around.”

“She Crucio-ed you, Padfoot!” James roared, moving fast as he came face to face to his best friend, “she’s a bloody menace!”

“She’s broken hearted, confused and hurt,” he whispered with far more emotion than he ever let on. “And if I could, I’d go back and change it all.”

THE PRESENT

“Black.”

Both Kari and Sirius looked up to stare at Snape. “How long have you been listening, Snivellus?” Sirius snapped as he slowly stood up.

_ The whole time _ , Severus thought to himself. “Don’t flatter yourself, Black. A storyteller is yet another thing you have failed to excel at.”

Kari followed her father and stood, sighing at the bickering men. "Professor.”

Snape turned his stare to Kari. While Harry had some resemblance to Lily because of his eyes, Kari had no ties to Tori physically. With Kari, it was all about personality. Tori’s personality. “Are you enjoying the nice fairy tale your father is spinning for you?”

“Not everything was happy in this fairytale,” Kari admitted, while her heart ached at the thought of her parents. "But I do enjoy hearing about my Mum. Sirius says you were friends.”

Severus’ eyes flickered to Sirius, who shrugged carelessly. “I wasn’t going to lie to her, Snivellus. She has a right to know about Tori. And all her friends.”

The emotion behind Sirius’ voice hit him. Nodding slightly, he muttered, “Tori was my best friend for my first few years at Hogwarts. I have some stories of my own to share, Kari.”

“Now listen here, Snivellus-“

“Enough,” Kari said softly, touching her father’s arm and smiling as he turned the scowl on her. “Sirius, that’s my decision. Professor, as long as you don’t use the time I give you to bash my father or James or Remus, I’d love that.”

“You didn’t include Pettigrew,” he noted, crossing his arms.

Kari shrugged, “he’s scum. He ruined my chance at a normal life. Him, you can bash.”

“Kaaari! Where the bloody hell are you!?”

She turned to the house, her face splitting into a smile reminded both the men present of her mother. "That’s for me. Coming, Harry!”

Snape stared after her, the knot of sadness for something that was not his churning in his stomach. “I can't believe I'm saying this, but that’s one hell of a daughter you have there, Black.”

“She came from a hell of a woman, Snape.”

And for a moment, there was a truce.

**Author's Note:**

> Finally found a way to introduce Maggie and Tori without ruining a lot of character development for Kari in my Second Year (and all following years, because I'm clearly a masochist) story. 
> 
> Now that they're introduced, I am beyond excited.


End file.
